A Blog about Jokes

A bus stops at a bus station. A train stops at a train station. Therefore, and this is the killer punch line…work stops at a work station! Get it? Get it???

That is my idea of a joke. I personally find it funny. At least, I used to find it funny. Okay – I found it funny once. Now it\’s just something that I try to tell people so that I appear as witty as I am pretty.

Needless to say – it does not work.

Oh – and my classmates? Their idea of a joke is as follows…

Classmate : Hey – wanna hear a joke?

Me: Sure.

Classmate: Do you want the long version or the short version?

Me: The long version.

Classmate (and this is the punch line) : Okay. Jooooooooooooooooooooooooke.

And you wonder why I have such a low opinion of my classmates. Here\’s another example…

Classmate : Which side of a dragon has the most scales?

Me (having not yet learnt my lesson) : Uhhh…the tail?

Classmate (going for the kill here) : The OUTSIDE!!!

There is something very wrong with them.

Here\’s another of my jokes. When I say \’my\’ – no, I did not come up with it.

A guy was in Germany when he decided to visit Beethoven\’s grave. He goes to the cemetery where Beethoven is buried, and follows the directions to the maestro\’s final resting place. To his surprise, his ears pick up the strains of Beethoven\’s 5th symphony – played backwards. The guy hails a passing gravekeeper and asks him about this strange phenomenon. The gravekeeper stares at the guy in surprise and replies – \”Why…he\’s decomposing!\”

There was another joke I read a couple of years ago.

A guy visits his psychiatrist for some advice. \”Doc,\” he says, \”I don\’t have a sex life. My wife and I haven\’t done it for years! It\’s not that I don\’t feel the \’urge\’…it\’s just that we don\’t seem to have the time. What do I do?\” The psychiatrist considers this deep metaphysical problem and gives his advice. \”Tell you what – the next time you feel the \’urge\’, drop whatever you are doing and do IT right there and then.\”

The guy leaves the psychiatrist\’s office with the words of wisdom hanging in his mind. A few weeks later, he drops by the shrink\’s office again.

\”You were right, Doc! I was having lunch with my wife the other day – we were sitting in front of each other and I looked into her eyes and she looked into mine and we both felt it and we did it right there, right then!\” he says excitedly.

\”That\’s great!\” the psychiatrist replies. \”So what\’s the problem?\”

\”Well,\” the guy replies, \”We\’ll never be allowed in McDonald\’s ever again.\”

Hilarious.

And in ending – I leave you with this thought provoking statement from a great writer.

\”Give a man a fire and he\’ll be warm for a night. Set him on fire and he\’ll be warm for the rest of his life.\”

And as for the picture? I want that on my wall in whichever place is unfortunate enough to have me as an employee.