Getting Drunk

I’m not sure whose gift to the world in general, and drunks everywhere to be specific, this is. Everclear. Absolutely horrible. And I mean horrible.

I got…drunk.

It was like drinking acid. Of course – I don\’t know what acid tastes like, but I would imagine that it tastes very much like this. Everclear is absolutely despicably disgustingly strong. And I was fool enough to take it raw. Several shots of it. With some brandy.

Why? Because I was caught up in the spirit of collective binge drinking.

I went to bed at 12 a.m this morning. Early, but I was tired, okay? It is now nine-ish. Why am I awake and not in bed? I woke up at about 6 a.m with a headache. A very bad headache. I went back to bed. I woke up at 8, and the headache, lo and behold, is gone! I went back to bed. I woke up at 9 -ish. And a random thought entered my head – let me record this moment, for posterity!

SO HOW DO I FEEL?

I feel soooooooooooo woozy right now. I NOW know how it feels to be drunk, when you think you are steady but you are unsteady, when you can barely keep your balance but you KNOW that you can keep your balance if you tried but you don\’t seem to be trying right now because trying may be too hard? I\’m not even sure what I\’m saying – I keep losing my train of thought. I am trying my best to describe how I am feeling now – My head is really, really light. And last night – I was enjoying it so much I couldnt stop laughing at myself. I know and understand exactly what I was doing, just doing it is a little harder. And I kept talking, I know. Mumbling, more likely.

I\’ll be honest – it was A GREAT AND TRULY ENJOYABLE MOMENT FOR ME.

I don\’t feel too good right now – I don\’t exactly have a headache, but if I speak, I sound – and I finally know what they mean by this word – slurred. And my voice is louder than usual. I tried walking – my steps have to be precise or I might just stumble. My tongue feels numb – like rubber. My whole mouth feels – rubbery.

What I need now is some Klatchian coffee. Not too much, or I might become – knurd, which is the opposite of drunk – where all of life\’s illusions is stripped away, the comfortable cushion padding that we use as buffers to escape the harsh reality of life. The true state of sobriety.

I\’m going back to bed. Good night. Good morning. Whatever.

God help me, but I want to get drunk again.