A Rant by Me

I hate my classmates.

Below, I have compiled a list of the top 5 types of students I wish weren\’t in my class:

5. Miss.KnowItAlls:
How to identify one? She is probably the first to enter the class, never even blinks till the end of the class (lest she might miss something important) and constantly takes notes (although already knows it all). She ll never miss a chance to show off she is a KnowItAll and obviously is among the teachers\’ pets. She is the one who sticks her hand up at every question, who for some reason NEVER gets anything wrong, and is the one who gives you the dirty looks when you make a joke in class and distract the teacher\’s attention away from her.
PS: It could have been a \”He\” too. But generally, Mr.KnowItAlls do not show off as much and hence are a lot more tolerable. Also, they are useful because they tend to be VERY cooperative when you (and by \’you\’ I obviously mean \’me\’) ask them a question, no matter how dumb the question is.

4. Everyone look here, I lack manners:
Members of this club include (but are not limited to) those who come in late but insist on sitting in the front row, those who bang the door while walking out in the middle of the class (to answer their phone calls), those who attend their phone calls inside the class (yeah, that happens too), those who cannot stop shaking their legs (along with the desks and chairs), who stretch as if in an aerobic class and those who pick their noses because they are bored. These are the people who don\’t really give a damn about you, and care only about themselves. These are usually guys who, as I have mentioned in an earlier blog, think of themselves as God\’s Greatest Gift to Women. These are the sort who will wink at you when you first give them a dirty look, and who think that girls really go for the Bad Boy thing, which is really outdated. I mean, seriously…jackets and overly gelled hair, tight shirts and wondrous anecdotes about their social lives? Do you actually think I would be attracted to you? The only reason they are this low in my list is because I somehow manage not to get distracted during a good class. If it is a bad class, then who cares!!!

3. Mr. and Ms. Doubts-Fire:
The ones that stick out their hands in a boring class as soon as the prof says \”Questions?\”. I am not against those who ask questions in class. But these are the ones that ask questions simply because they think it makes them look smart. They are not dumb but the questions they ask are either way off the topic or dead simple. And they do it all the time. Grrrrrrrrr. Those who fall into this category are also most likely to fall in the 5th category.

2. The hypocrite parasites:
You just have to be careful with this lot because you generally have outside-the-class interactions with them. They copy your work and shamelessly claim to have worked it all out by themselves – even in front of you. Oh, and they hate helping others. They never share their copied HW with anyone else because its bad !! They might know very little but love to act like KnowItAlls. My advice: Never trust them.

1. The bootlickers:
If the class is very boring (which is like every 3.735 out of 4 times), then you are in for some big trouble with this lot. You wouldn\’t believe what all they do to \”butter\” the prof. They go \”Yes Sir, Yesss Sirrr.\” to every word uttered by the prof, they laugh-out-LOUD to all those not-at-all funny attempts made by the prof. (and make sure the prof sees them do so), are generally a variant of Mr./Miss. Doubt-Fires (they only ask questions for which they are sure that the prof. will know the answer!!), they never ask the prof for delaying the assignment due date or for reducing the exam syllabus (although thats what they complain about to the rest of us), meet the prof before & after the class and also during his office hours to ask doubts (!!), and wish that there was something beyond excellent in the course evaluation sheets (while the rest of us are coming up with \”awful\”, \”horrible\”, \”terrible\”, \”dreadful\”, etc.) These people generally appear in categories 3 and 5 as well.

And another thing…

I was reading through a friend\’s blog and she happened to mention cliques, and she had the picture of that movie Mean Girls, which was a really dumb movie, imho. Now, I went to high school just like the rest of you. We ALL saw what cliques were there. These social groups may have started up being about common interests, but the ���charter��� for many of them was one of oppressing others. The cute and popular girls singling out and demeaning the loner goth girl. The varsity athletes and their wannabe entourage picking on the so-called ���band geeks.��� It doesn\’t just happen on TV, it really does happen in real life.

And you know the worst part? I used to be one of those girls. I don\’t know about you, but when I was in school, there were two main cliques for girls. The \’Cheerleaders\’ and the \’Hot Girls\’. I have nothing against cheerleaders – okay, I never really hanged out with them because I was in the \’Hot Girl\’ clique (I can see you just shaking your head in amused bemusement at my readiness to quatify myself as a \’hot girl\’). See, cheerleaders band together – they have to do routines together, so it\’s obvious that they have to trust each other. At least, that\’s what I think. Anyways, the cheerleaders would be in their group, and we would be in ours. They would be the ones who THOUGHT they were the hottest and deserved to be the centre of attention, and we were the ones who KNEW that we were the hottest and deserved all the attention (EAT THAT, BARBIE! ) Anyways, while these two cliques studiously avoided having trouble with each other (after all, we went to the same parties, so we had to talk, but we didn\’t actually like each other, that\’s the point I\’m trying to make) there was always the bitching to each other about some girl in the other group, the \’She stole your boyfriend\’ and the \’I saw her talking to… at lab earlier\’. But things were good – as long as you had your girls with you, you were totally fine.

And then my parents moved us out of the state.

Being the new girl sucked, because when you go into a new school halfway through the academic year, the social status of everyone is already set in stone, and you, as the new kid, are consigned to oblivion – that is, rock bottom. You are nowhere – you know no one. You don\’t get invited to parties. There is the awkwardness you face during lab classes when you aren\’t sure who your partner is. Group assignments were the worst because you didn\’t know anyone, and no one knew you, so you were one of those wildcards whom the teacher, feeling compassionate, decides to place into this group or that group to save you from the embarassment of being last. And gym? I have always hated gym. Always.

Wow – I\’m being bitter here.

Thankfully, my new kid experiences ended two months later, when I was finally accepted, or should I say assimilated, into one group of girls who turned out to be the best friends I have ever had (awwwwwww – teary eyed moment).

I have just reached the point when I realized that I have forgotten the point of this blog entry (other than boredom) and have allowed myself to be carried aw
ay by the beckoning mists of Memory Lane, with the familiar doors on either side of me. And then the blissful trip turns sour because somewhere down Memory Lane, I get mugged.

Anyways…(wow – I use this word a lot!)

I don\’t like my classmates. Something about them – their mindless zeal for academic success, perhaps, or the sycophantic way they allow themselves to be enslaved by the system (and when I talk about the system, I mean the system. It\’s like when people say – hey! I just said it…people. You know…the people. What they say…No one actually knows who they are, who the people are, or what the system is. They just say the system and expect you to understand.) gets to me. They are nerds. I hate nerds. There is something about them that I just abhor. It is the way they act like the downtrodden who know in their heart of hearts that they will be the ones signing your paycheck in the future that irritates the sh!t out of me. They have no life! They have no personality! They don\’t think! They read, they write, they absorb like a sponge and regurgitate like a baby when the father picks it up while wearing his best shirt! They are the dregs of college society – they are the butt of our jokes, the targets of our thinly veiled insults. They are smarter than me, and when I see them study, when I hear their questions, I feel inferior! How dare they be better than me, when I am so obviously better than them? Just because they score higher in tests than me doesn\’t mean that they are smarter! Watching them reminds me that I should be studying, not sitting down on my perfect and flawless butt typing stuff on screen and messing around with the computer before picking my bag up to go out later. They make me feel guilty, and they should be punished!

I\’m going off now. To study.

See ya!