Sunday school, the bane of every Catholic child's life. All the way to confirmation, we walk, dragging our feet as we move to the dreaded building behind the church proper for one and a half hours of God only knows what. Learning the bible and whatnot, I suppose.
This happened when I was 14.
We had a teacher who was one of those ultra religious goody two shoes kind of person, the sort who never misses daily Mass and walks around with the air of cloying goodness that just reminds people like me that confession was a long time ago and I am just PILING up on the sins, leaving me with a faint sense of guilt that is just that...faint and fading away as the next temptation, usually in the form of laziness and anger (at who else but Paige and Audree for being what they are).
So anyways, on this one day, she pulled out a flash card; on it was a drawing of a boy drowning in a pond. She wanted everyone who would save him to stand up.
I was the only one who didn’t.
When asked why, I replied, with the conviction of a rebellious 14 year old, “If he wanted to go for a dip in a pond, he should’ve made sure he could actually swim. Unless of course he could, but felt suicidal. Or maybe it was just karma coming back to bite him in the ass.”
The word 'ass' was a curse word that I revelled in, for the f-word remained out of bounds.
And I don’t think she appreciated my answer.
I was sent out, to “think about my morality.”
Maybe it was the hilarity of it all, or maybe it was just the interesting shade of purple she’d turned, but either way, I couldn’t help it. I laughed.
And laughed. The kind of chilling laughter that would make anyone doubt your sanity. Okay, I exaggerate - I am not one of those psychotic serial killers in the making, although Paige would disagree, and despite his lack of firsthand knowledge on the matter, David would concur heartily.
She called my dad, who as you know is uber religious, as I sat there on the floor, alternating between a glare and stony silence. I remember the look she gave me when she told him, “I’m sure you raised her well, but I’m afraid your daughter is morally evil.”
I remember the shock I felt, when my father replied...
“Oh, she was never morally good to start with.”
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5 comments:
What would I agree with? Anyway i'm never hearty about anything, 'hearty' implies fat, and I resent that insinuation.
I had to go to Sunday School too. Maybe St Nick or whoever it is who guards the gates will take that as a 'plus' when I finally get there..
ahh I remember the days.. we had CCD, same thing, but during the week after school.. my mom taught it, so I still get to deal with the "obey thy mother and thy father" even when they're nimwits kinda crap. Glad to hear you rebelled!!
Rebellious and morally evil seems to have worked out well for you; I certainly love and adore you :-)
Absolutely nothing to do with your post I know, but...
Being as you say you're a song of ice and fire fan. Thought maybe you'd like to hear the casting has started for the HBO series.
Here is what they've got so far
http://grrm.livejournal.com/95840.html
haha, your dad did it right. Whenever someone is set against whatever you have to say, the way to break the ice is to say something they'd never expect. Then they start really listening to you, because they want to know why you would say that. :)
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